Quote from "The Dreamer"

Like Oh-Em-Gee!!

On November 1st 2010, during our school assembly, the school was giving out awards to classes like the most cleanest and most cheerful class, the most discipline class, and class that gave the most donation for "bacathon"

I was listening to Pn.Noor Hayati saying names for the winners of the cleanest and most cheerful class awards. Our class didn't won. Then, she continued to the most discipline class awards and I was confident that our class would not win. However, to everyone's surprise, 5 Hemah won in 3rd place. I didn't believe it. I went up the stage and collect the "cheque" still not believing that my class recieved 3rd place.

I guess it is one of the good memories from this school that I'll remember always :)

Random paper from my bag 2

Second piece of paper:

Breathe in deeply
Sing a song happily
Form the words soulfully
Dream a dream pleasantly

Live life thoughtfully
Fall in love caustiously
Remember all the memories
Embrace all the sad things

Laugh at jokes whole-heartedly
Don't cry hard instantly
Also take things seriously
Rest in peace calmly

Random paper from my bag 1

I was cleaning my bag's gut and i found two pieces of paper with some interesting notes on them. Well, interesting enough for me :) here's from the first paper:

Sitting alone in the darkness at night
Wondering what my future would be like
I feel like these four walls closing on me
Tell me, what am I supposed to be?

Because nothing feels right anymore
Everyday i feel my heart getting torn
I end up feeling unwanted and cold
Even though I'm walking on a crowded road

I see the pretty flower losing it's life
Making me want to give up mine
So many things I wish to say
But no one ever listens to me anyway

Because I am a useless girl
Who can never give anything to the world
Sometimes I wish this was a dream
Because nothing ever seems real

All my heart can do is cry
But I go on with life with a broken smile
Trying to find something to do
And maybe that's all I'll ever do

It's Hard to Say Goodbye

There's something in your eyes that's far too revealing,
Why must it be like this? A love without feeling,
Something wrong with you I know I see it in your eyes.
Believe me when I say,
It's gonna be okay.

I'll never try to hold you back,
I wouldn't try controlling you,
If it's what you want, It's what I want,
I want what's best for you.
And if there's something else that you're looking for,
I'll be the first to help you try
Believe me when I say, It's hard to say goodbye.

and he said:

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY NEXT BREATH
and I mean that...

Quote

Random Quotes

Etcetera, Etcetera

all I ever think about is you
you got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
and I've just got to know
do you ever think when you're all alone
all the thing we can be, where this thing can go?
am I crazy or falling in love?
is it real or just another word?
do you catch a breath when I look at you?
are you falling bad like the way I do?

What I Know About Love

People keep throwing the word 'I Love You' around like it's meaningless.. to me, it was something special.. Some people say it to quench their lust.. some just say it..
Now, I don't think real true love exist.. Maybe it's real to some people.. But not me.. that's just my luck.So:
my answer to that pics question is.... no one.

Stuffs :)

A New Song!!

This song came to mind when I was sitting around waiting for my time to go to school.. It's called 'The Way I Do'.. Again, it's just lyrics.. I'll find the melody out soon.. It's kinda sappy, this song.. but, whatever.. Hope you'll enjoy/like it :)

I see you almost everyday,
Going around, Making your own way,
You say you're looking for that someone special in life.

And you say it's impossible to find,
That girl that you have up in your mind,
And I nodded my head saying "you're right"

Every Night and every day,
I wish I had the courage to say.

I may not be the prettiest girl,
But I know I can give you the world,
If you only trust me to,
Give all my love to you.

And I know I'm not the girl of your dreams,
But if you could only see,
That I'm the only girl for you,
'Cause nobody will love you, the way I do.

There you go again, getting your heart broken,
Why can't you see that I'm leaving my heart open,
For you to catch it and let me be your only one.

But you are blinded by the sight of every gal,
What you have in your mind is hard to tell,
Can't you see that I'm the right one.

Every Night and every day,
I wish I had the courage to say.

I may not be the prettiest girl,
But I know I can give you the world,
If you only trust me to,
Give all my love to you.

And I know I'm not the girl of your dreams,
But if you could only see,
That I'm the only girl for you,
'Cause nobody will love you, the way I do.

So I'm finding the perfect moment to tell you,
And maybe just saying I like you will have to do,
But I know you'll never feel this way,
Why do I have to feel this day by day.

There you go, falling for that pretty girl,
Just know that she can't give you the world,
No matter how you trust her to,
She won't give all her love to you.

And I know she's the girl of your dreams,
But if you could only see,
That I'm the only girl for you,
'Cause nobody will love you, The way I do...

About: I'll Love You

This is a song that I wrote by myself.. I haven't figure out the melody yet.. It's just the lyrics.. It's not a perfect song, but at least I manage to write my very own song.. Soon, when I have the time, I'll find the right melody for it by using the guitar and piano..

To not make things difficult, I'll address the person as a girl.. and the beloved is a guy.. Okay, so this song is about a girl who is deeply in love with a guy.. Things happen they have to part.. So right now, the girl feels happiness is irrelevant and she feels incomplete.. She wants to move on but every time she thought of him, she will fall more and more in love which makes it really difficult.. She knows it's senseless to go on keeping this feeling because it won't go anywhere.. And once she get over this feeling towards him, she'll be fine again.. But no matter what she knows that in her heart, she will always love him..

The part 'Because I've finally found a way to forgive you' means that he had hurt her a lot that cause her suffering and pain,and they only way she could get over him is to forgive him..

This song has nothing to do with me.. I just imagine what it would be like in that situation.. It's just fun to write some songs.. Who knows, maybe someday someone will sing my songs.. It'll be cool.. But for now, this is it..

I'll Love You

Smiling everyday is meaningless to me,
Because happiness means you'll be there in the morning,
Now you've gone away and left me here to stay,
So how can I smile knowing you won't be here the next day.

'Cause even in a crowded room, I am lonely,
Only when I'm with you, I feel complete,
I just wanna be by your side, right next to you,
Until the day I die, I'll always love you.

Walking by myself on these empty roads,
Can someone show me a direction to go?
I am lost by these thoughts of you,
Because I don't have anyone to turn to.

'Cause even in a crowded room, I am lonely,
Only when I'm with you, I feel complete,
I just wanna be by your side, right next to you,
Until the day I die, I'll always love you.

But I have to move on,
Holding down my tears,
I know I can make it, so I have to be strong,
I'm flushing down all my doubts and fears.

Soon I'll be a part of the crowded room,
Because I've finally found a way to forgive you,
But no matter what, you still deserve the truth,
I will forever love you.

Tired

It's just the third day of school, and I'm already getting tired.. I have lack of sleep.. I am stressing too much.. I have a lot of work to do.. My daily routine is wake up, shower, get ready for school, breakfast, wait for the van, reach school and wait, learn, go home, shower, lunch, homework, study.. and this is when I haven't started my tuition yet.. Right now, I have two homework left and a job for the school mag.. and then I'm gonna study account..

I'm just sooooo tired.. I feel like I've been learning for a whole month.. This is a long week.. I guess I feel this way because I'm use by the way I do nothing on the holidays.. My brain wasn't ready to cope with all of this.. and when our extra-curricular activities start, I'll be even more tired..

But this is what I have to bear in order to have 10 A's.. Not that hard right.. I just have to brush up on my math, account, add math and work harder for the rest of the subject..

One year only right??

Last Day of Freedom

Right now, I am bored.. and since I have nothing better to do, I'm gonna write on my blog.. When school starts, which is tomorrow,I won't know if I have the time to update my blog.. So, this might be my last entry.. But don't count on it.. Knowing me, I'm sure I'll find a way to sneak on my laptop..Anyways, freedom.. Like that picture up there, I'll be tied in shackles starting tomorrow.. I'll be in endless agony.. I'll feel the pain in my brain as if it wants to explode.. I'll feel the constant pressure by families, teachers and peers alike.. All of them would say, that this will be my final year.. Just only one year of suffering..

And like the butterfly in the picture, I'll yearn for my freedom.. and I can only see people being free while I, along every SPM candidate, have to go through torture of constantly holding a book on our hands.. Constantly revising and memorizing the things that we have to..

And just like everyone else, I keep reminding myself that it's only for a year.. after this I'll get to taste freedom again.. But easier said than done.. I hate studying.. No, I love studying.. I hate studying for the subjects that I hate.. yes, that sounds right.. now, I have to be a prisoner of education.. and my sentence is a year..

*sigh* this gonna a loooong year..

School

Ugh!! School starts on Monday.. And when school starts, I'll lose my freedom.. This year will be the toughest year ever.. I'll have to endure all the torture for a year.. But can I even last a week??

I know I don't go out much, and I know I don't have a life.. But I have a right for my freedom.. I don't know if I'll make it with my year planned out for me.. I have to follow a strict schedule.. I don't like following schedules.. Even though, I realize that I have nothing to do during my freedom period, it's still freedom.. I don't have to worry about this big examination that will choose my fate of the future.. I don't have to worry about disappointing my mother, whom have sacrificed and raised my to be the girl that I am.. I don't have to be stressed about the pressure that everyone is giving me because I come from a genius family, my father's children got straight A's and pressure from people comparing their children with another persons children..

But nevertheless, I'm gonna work hard.. I'm gonna prove to everyone who ever thought of doubting me.. I'm gonna prove to everyone that even though I rarely pay attention to school, but when it comes to exam, I did excellent.. I'm gonna prove to myself that I am not an idiot..
Most of all, I don't want to fail Mama..

So, let the torture begin!