Monday, December 31, 2012

Here comes 2013

What can I say about 2012 without sounding like an ungrateful person? It's sort of impossible when I am a pessimist. I know there are some good things, but the bad things always outweighs the good. I guess it is to keep me grounded.

I'm still pursuing my studies, and I have been getting great grades so far. Next semester will probably be my last semester at NWACC. I'm scared to move on to the university, but it's just something I have to do. I am still not sure what career I am going to pursue in the future though, which sucks, a lot. I miss my family in Malaysia a lot. 

I miss my abah a lot. I wish he was alive to see that I am not a screw up. I wish he was alive to see me graduate. I wish he was alive to see everything I will achieve in the future.

I did a countdown of eleven good things that happen in 2011 when 2012 was coming, but honestly, I don't think I can come up with twelve things that highlight the year 2012. Should I even try, or just put up some new years resolution? Honestly, I can't think of anything that I want to resolve. What I want is impossible, because it is in someone else's hands.

2013, I'm begging you, please be good to me.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Messed Up!

Haven't done blogging in a way long time. Today, however, I feel like writing about it. Although this might be personal, I just don't have anyone to talk to about it without being judged. I feel like I'm the most messed up human being in this whole entire planet! There are reasons to my statement:

1. I don't have a clear vision of what I want to pursue as a career. In other words, I am not sure of what I am passionate about.

2. I have NO hobbies! I hate when people ask me "What do you like to do,?" " What are your hobbies?" Like seriously, I do not have a hobby. I WANT a hobby, but I don't know what I can do. I am not creative, therefore I cannot do arts and crafty things. I mean, I want to be creative. I want to do creative stuff, but I know I'll just fail. I need to find a hobby. Something that will relax me. I can't even do sports hobby stuff. I'm not athletic. I'm also one of the most sports retarded person in the world. Even if I do have a hobby, I'll probably won't have time to do it. With all the assignments and quizzes and classes and trying to not make more of a mess in the apartment, I'm booked! I just want to find something. I need something that is mine. Mine only. Something that I don't have to worry about good grades, losing , sharing, or being stupid.

Passion. What am I passionate about?